With the holiday out of the way, I realise that Sparkle is fast approaching and I need to get my finger out and start organising things. Or, even better, avoid organising things with pointless procrastination.
Such as...
I realise it's been a couple of years since my last
Sparkle Spotter's Guide, so I thought I'd a 2008 supplement.
As before, bring it along on during the weekend, and check off everyone you spot. It's
that easy!
The Grumpy PrincessFrom the neck down she's a fantastically bright and frivilous concoction of frills, bows, twiddly bits and sparkles. Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
No one quite knows why the gayness (in it's old fashioned sense of light-hearted joyousness) of a frock is directly in proportion to the apparent sullenness of the tranny wearing it, but it's probably something to do with balancing out the happiness of the universe.
Common behaviours:
1. Staring disinterestedly into the middle distance.
2. Smoking whilst staring disinterestedly into the middle distance.
3. Drinking whilst staring disinterestedly into the middle distance.
Spotted: Date & Time: Location:
Last Generation TrannyDon't be fooled by the title, generations in tranny terms last only about 5 years. Just enough time for the tranny involved to burst onto the scene, spend a few years using up all their pent-up girliness, get a bit "famous", and then begin to get bored with the whole thing. They still come along to the big events, but it's obvious that their heart isn't in it any more.
Most likely to say:
1. "Of course in my day we only had Trans-Mission and the Boudoir."
2. "What do you mean you've never heard of my blog?"
3. "I am big! It's the tranny scene that got small!"
Spotted: Date & Time: Location:
The Young and Far Too Beautiful Drag QueenThey're nothing to do with Sparkle, they're just turned up on Canal Street because that's what they do most weekends anyway. And they're not that bothered about dressing up en-femme, it's just something that they do, incredibly well and seemingly without effort (unlike most of the envious tranny throng that have descended around them for the weekend).
Hated because:
1. They look too good.
2. They
know they look too good.
3. Dammit, why don't they have all the hang ups about dressing up like a
proper tranny does!?
Spotted: Date & Time: Location:
The Ancient AdmirerYou get the feeling he was probably something big in ICI until he retired in the 1970s, and apparently decided to spend his remaining years and pension hanging around with a bunch of trannies. Usually sporting glasses and a hearing aid of such a dated design you secretly wonder if he's actually a tranny admirer at all and if he had his prescriptions checked he'd suddenly realise what kind of clubs he was going to and
why the gaggle of fillies who throng around him have always been so incredibly grateful and accommodating.
Spotted: Date & Time: Location:
I've heard a few too many cases of people having their photos 'borrowed' and misattributed, re-captioned, doctored or otherwise misused. (By Transformation in their promotional material, f'instance.)
How's a real girl going to feel about having her likeness copied and described as a tranny? Not that I know anything about Epigoth, but it's happening all too often.
1) Make a note of the Noob.
2) Look them up in about six months time.
Usually, one of three things will have happened:
1) Pictures will have dried up because they've run out of source material to steal.
2) The account has been deleted by Flickr-pol.
3) They're still active and consistent; in which case, maybe, just maybe...
There was Polar Rose which supposed to be a face recognition search thing for Firefox, but I'm not very impressed and I think it would probably return Avril Lavigne in this case....
Remember its best to be like a duck.
Calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath.
:o)
I dont go alot on the facial recognition progams. For examples of their fallabilities see my flickr profile page. Apparently Im 80% like so japenese actress.
:o/
Actually I only posted to say I snorted tea at Jo's comment.
http://uk.gizmodo.com/2008/03/12/french_maid_pc_mod_oo_la_la.html
wtf!!
The photostream is definitely tingling my Spidey senses :)
And Gillian, watch what you're doing with those "box" jokes, I hear enough of them as it is!
Although the thing that always makes me suspicious is a lack of photos. As we all know, trannies are addicted to photos, to capturing that instant when they appear as female as they can (well I am anyway).
So any self professed trannie who only has 6 photos immediately gets a black mark in my book I'm afraid. And two black marks if all the photo's they have are from the same shoot or time period. Six photo's taken over a period of time is harder to fake then a 5 minute download of someones last shoot.
At the end of the day though, its just sad and pointless in I would suggest equal measures. I think faking it, shows the person has a lot of personal issues which they need to deal with, which I imagine is not a very good place to be.
I can't generalize, but instead of dressing up I WISH I could press a button and BE a woman, or put on a magic woman suit, and have real female parts...
But that, we know, is not possible. So what is the next thing to desire ? Via makeup, surgeries, or pure nature luck, to look as close as possible to a woman.
So trannies WANT TO BELIEVE that someone who claims to be another TG and looks 100% like a woman, is a genetic male. Because that gives us all hope :-)
"The closer to the truth, the better the lie, and the truth itself is the best lie of all." Preem Palver
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